12 February 2010

lesbian?im not!

when i said dat..i like diz gurl.doesnt mean dat im lesbian...Please don't misunderstand me.
.im not a lesbian..
I've never been attracted to girls!

when someone labeled me as a lesbian..I hated it and I felt disgusted every time I heard it.
bear in ur mind.. I've never been attracted to girls .
I love men and I had a boyfriend. I never feel anything toward girls. i cant imagine myself being with a woman.
I can't imagine being in a relationship with a woman and having sexual relations with a woman

But I always wonder what if I like them while I don't and I feel extreme discomfort around lesbian girls. Thoughts that if I like girls are killing me because I hate that n I became obsessed with this kind of thoughts.
*i admit dat..im so excited when i saw pretty girls..especially she is nice..softly spoken..coz its remaind me of my mom..but..dazziz..

i got a story to tell

i used to know a girl...
well..shes nice..shes pretty..shes cute..shes gurly..i olwez gve my compliment...i admit dat..i adored her..but..ironically..
she misunderstood me..she assumed dat..i like her..n wanna be her less partner.
OMG!i dont do diz..i dont do sex..plus wif gurl..no!

at first..i dunno dat shes lesbian..but..after she olwez sms me wif some disgustin word..
i figured out dat shes less..i'd tried for many times avoided her..but..failed..
d fact dat she olwez contact me..sms me..telling her prob..make me feel smpyty..*i hate diz feeling..
then..without i realized daat..
diz make our frienship bcome more complicated..when she expecting me 2 be her partner..
i told her for many times dat..i love her bcoz she is my fwen..not more than dat..
izziz okay wif me if she is less or straight..i do respect her way of life..*but i olwez gve some advised bout diz..
but..d most important things here is..im not less..

when she admit dat she wus in love wif me..n cried in front of me..i dunno wut i hve to do..she said.

“I don’t care that we don’t have sex. You can date a guy..u can meet ur bf..i wont get mad..i pomize..
. I know. I know. just don’t leave me…”

oh baby,..
plz..dont do diz 2 me..i cant b ur partner..i cant love u as a lover does..i cant..

I just don’t know what to do next… what am I supposed to do? I need serious answers.


p/s: when u asked me dat day..Please be honist with me.. Do you think im pretty?? ~yes you are :) you are like this non typical pretty, its like an individual pretty that doesn't come across everyday :) don't get me wrong im not lesbian :) just being honest...ok?

btway..Please don't tell me dat it's ok to be gay also because I HATE THAT.

7 comments:

ila said...

do what u should do n decide whats d best for both of u..

AM SYA said...

yucks!

h0w c0me gurl fall in luv wif gurl and make luv!

s0 disgusting~

hell no!

AM SYA said...

nurul~ blog ni salah timer ni..

nnt set smula ok? =)

zalizalu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zalizalu said...

This post has been removed by the author.
silap coment entry daa.. sorry.. nanti kalau tu delete.. malu (*_*)

Jannah K said...

hahahahaha..itu lah.. akak so beautiful ! =)

Orked said...

u noe wut akak, when i read ur entry n come across da first para, im got shock ok, ur quotation same mcm saya pernah create..baru jer bulan lepas... n here is my edition

"i love to see beautiful girl, but it doesn't meant dat imma lesbian"

tp alhamdulillah, xde lagik org confess kat sy mcm kes akak ni...seyes sedih bg pihak akak..hope ur fwenz kembalik ke pangkal jalan..

u n me, think alike...but u more pretty in ur own way...n me? try to be prety in my own way too...hahaha