I had learned dat..the past..is past..once the time gone..then..its gone..
since I was little I have had the security and love of a whole family with no pieces missing. I’m sure all of you have lost a loved one, ranging from a dear pet to a beloved family member. I myself have lost many cherished cat, but never in my childhood did I think I would lose a family member.
As I sit here this nite..- the darkness surrounds me.i remember of someone dat relly close to me..my late grandma....
*dat picture..i miss dat place more..where..i with grandma there..
I remember her loving looks ..she olwez nice wif me..she taking care of me more than my mom..as I wus grow up as a kampong gurl..im stayed with her..d fact dat my dad working outstation..make me stayed together wih grandma n mom..i called her as chik. I still remember her loving voice softly whispering in my ear. .
i still remember precisely ..when I a pretty kid..she taking care of me..stay up all nite whn I crying so bad..feed me..n at morning..she asked me to followed her to sawah(as grandma has paddy field n she worked there)..then..while she is working. I Watchin her spread d seeds..or menuai..i was sitting at wakaf..wif the nice view..birds..silent winds..n im so happy played there.when I get bored..i started calling her..chik..chick..along lapar..then..she came to me..n feed me..
everydays..as I followed her to sawah..i become so familiar wif dat surrounding..n chik olwez told me..ingat asal usul kite even satu hari..along dh jadi kaye..along mgkin dok hirau chik doh lepas ni..tp along kena ingat..dari mane asal kite..jgn jdi orng sombong..~~n dat words..become my principle till today..
I olwez joking wif her.i said dat..chik..nti along dh kaye..along nk beli kereta besor2 kt chik..chik xyah g sawah dah..then,,she jus smile..when all my family said dat the clothes dat im wear is ugly..chik olwez said dat..it wus pretty with me...i neve heard dat..she said to me dat im ugly or worse..even de facts it is..sad,,but its true as I getting more older..my gradma also..getting old..shes cannot work anymore..so regret when I remember dat…im yelling at her..when she ask me to do this n this..but.even how loud I yelled..shes still smiling..2 weeks before she pass away..i sitted beside her..kiss her hand..n softly massage her..she juz staring at me..n hold my hand titely..i ask forgiveness..then..i went to my campus..my mom told me dat..my grandma getting more weak..but im too bz at dat time..so..i decided to back home during weekend..then..d day dat in wanna go home..it wus d day dat grandma passed away.. Im crying a lots..i cant see her for d last time..n I relly regret diz..i cant see her anymore..i cant hear her nagging anymore..i cant feel her softly touchin anymore..even one day..i become a success woman, I still cannot buy her a car anymore.. .how much I miss her..and how proud I am that to have her as grandmother.. I hve so wonderful n treasured memories wif her..i miss her..even one day im not longer stay there..i may live in a big city, but my heart is and always will remain in dat small kampong..
p/s: im crying