24 February 2010

i love u with all my heart

perhaps u never know how much i love you..


my love..

My heart beats for you alone.

Hearing your voice brings peace, comfort and a smile to my face at the sheer thought of you.

My heart soars when I am with you. Yes.really i did it.

In your absence, I close my eyes and dream of your close embrace, our fingers intertwined and your soft lips pressed against mine.

Everything about you takes my breath away.

i hope..

one day you'll really see how much you mean to me

I can't say it enough about how much I love you

i really fall in love with the person u are..

i love you beyond words..miles and everything..
i love u truly from my heart...

Body, Mind, Heart and Soul ~
With you I am in Tune


p/s: i am not a good poetry..but.olredy tried my best 2 show how much i love u..huhu..i din copy from anywhere..diz is my real feelings toward u..

God..i feel so lonely tonite..

i've been feeling lonely quite often lately :(
i feel abandoned..huhuhu.after i pray..still im not cured enuf..Ya Allah..plz gve me some peace..my heart is broken..i dunno wat shud i pray...i relly dunno..but im so lonely..i dunno wat im searching for..*im craying..

someone..plz talk 2 me.. i feel real empty feeling inside and even if people are around me.., it doesnt make any difference..huhu..What a big fucked up world this is. Often I wish I were a kid again where friendships could be started over a new toy or video game, or even on a jungle gym. Now the world feels fake, like everyones wearing a mask. Its as if no one is real anymore...*hate it much222..

I hate life*for diz moment..
dat empty feeling inside is haunting, like i have died inside..omg!
p/s: im lonely wanna die..yesss i am..anybody..accompny me plzz


20 February 2010

it is disgusting u know?

"The woman asked to be raped because how she was dressed."

this is one of my boy friends statement..he used 2 asked me..
y women nowdays so obsessing to wearin something which is hot n too sexyy..
seem they are looking for men attention..*disgusting aite?it is like u sell ur body for money..different term..but similar meaning.. then..when sumtim bad happened..man all 2 b blame..

urmmm...what shud i say ya...

as a women..i know dat Women are allowed to wear what they choose. what they comfy to.
but..if it is too sexy..i dunt think dat it is good..
i admit dat..im not dat good too..but..proudly says dat..
i know how 2 dress well..i know how 2 dress properly..
sometimes.. i feel so ashamed, disgusting, wif some of my species..which is arrogantly shows their body 2 public..
omg!where is ur mind gurls?

when i see a lot of these women on the street and they are wearing miniskirts!
their legs are being shown to the world. and sometimes tight stockings. and sometimes wearing shirt dat show half of their hotti breast..
i wondering.. why are these women acting like this?
are they sex addicts?*i think they are..im rude?wuteve..

yess..ppl have no right to assume that mini skirts and t shirts are signs of disgusting women when you don't even know them. If someone was to judge you by your dress code and
got your personality all wrong, it is not fair..i knew it.. but..wearing sumtim which is..exhibit ur body like ur breast.. or u pretty legs..it is not good gurl!
coz.. when u walking on d street...my evil mind will surely thot dat..
They may or may not be prostitutes!!!.*dunt blame me for diz statement.. it is juz my expectation..not u..ok..

so gurls..moral of d story....plzz dress modestly..properly..especially..if u are a muslim..
You have to respect yourself first, then other will respect you. *And the ones who don't, kick their ass to the curb and move on.hahaha

btw..proudly tell u dat...fyi i dont wear miniskirts.*siyesss coz i dont wanna overexpose &
exhibit every inch of my body and i have dignity.
There's a saying.
Something displayed infront of people's eyes is valueless. Something hidden is treasure.am i rite??

p/s: i dont dress for attention..

18 February 2010

please!plzzzz..dunt disappear from my life..

iz might be annoying for u oll.coz touch bout love..again..*sigh. but..like i care!

i juzz wrote diz..so dat someone dat i love read it..n realize dat..how much i need him..so...I figured I would talk a little about my honey. It actually is probably more of a rant to be totally honest..
I olwez told myself not to fall for him, but I did.
I told myself not to fall any harder, but I did. I told myself not to get too attached, but I did..rite now??im hurting myself by lovin him..huhuhu..*im so sad

my dearest honey..*u know who u are
i hope u know dat..I love you with all my heart. My love 2 u is real and it is more than you think.
u come into my life and make me feel special.*thanks my love..
I thank God everyday for you being in my life. I don’t know what I did to deserve this, besides pray for you to come. *alhamdulilah....

my dearest honey..
I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. You inspire me to be a better woman...thnks dear..
I needed 2 tell you dat u make my heart smile. u give me so much laughter and reasons to walk with pride.
In diz world, where everything is chaotic, u give me a resting place.
*u know wut u hve done for me..thnks..even it is juz a comman things..but..i do appreciated it..even juz a teliphone call when i nid sumone 2 talk..

my dearest honey..
im sorry i havent stopped loving u..
i know i've hurt u..but wut can i do?
i love u..relly i do..That the truth might kill me, but me n you deserve to know.
i love u damm much..
i wanna b wif u..OMG!
wut shud i do..

but honeyy...

i wanna be yours..but im afraid i cant..
I'm sorry if I'm not pretty enough to be "your girl".
I'm sorry that im different from those other girls..
but still...i love u fuckin damm much!

if we r together..i promise u..I will be better 4 you. I'll be the most understandable and supportive women that you deserve..insyallah k honey?
if we r not mean to b together..i still feel grateful..still..u olwez in my mind...coz u know..i olwez told u dat
u are my evrything...

Thank you for being the man that you are. Thank you for being accountable,loving, affectionate, and just plain good to me.
I love you so much...

Font sizeurmmmm

I love you more than my life.


15 February 2010

if u kill your child..you deserve to die!

i'll hate u if any of u do diss!!

I am only several inches long, but I have all my organs.
when i in ur womb..I love the sound of
your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl !!
I hope that makes you happy. I always want
you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. but mommy..
Why didn't you want me Mommy

*why dont u gve ur baby a chance like my mama did?

When I heard bout the news..(bayi dibuang dan dibakar)..i relly feel extremely disappointed..Feel mad..Who r u BITCH? r u fuckin maniac or alien.. y u r so heartless? you should never kill something that you made!!

How come u threw ur newborn child like a piece of trash? then..u kill em? do u called ur self as human? where is ur humanity..i cant gve u any title bitches..i cant even calling u as animal*coz I do believe..Animal never do dis to their kids.. i knew coz I hve cats..

How can any of you be so cruel? Did it do anything to you? No. Could it have if it had lived? More then likely but it doesn't mean it deserved to die like that… *why dont u gve ur baby a chance like my mama did?

I Still wondering..How come u kill ur baby?

that baby did nothing wrong other then being FORCED to be birthed from a PIECE OF SHIT! Its horrible..u kill her..so..u r not deserve to live too..i hate u!!! Can you imagine hearing your mothers voice for your little bit of life, coming out only to be held so she could dump you like a rubbish..Then burn u like a trash? Have you felt what it is like to be burned? Like your lungs are on fire and they will burst. it doesn't feel good at all. What did that baby do to deserve such a disgusting demise? she is innocent u know..

if u as the mother doesn’t want the baby i think its tough u had sex and comitted the act so u should live with the consequences afterall the baby didnt ask to be born. although if the women was raped it should be up to them to decide whether they want the baby. REMEMBER - any young women ut there who dont want there baby u cud always put it up for a doption afterall there are thousands of couples longing for a child..

But why do women in this world want to kill a innnocent child, they were not asked to be put on this world. I mean if you don't wanna get pregnate then don't open your legs. its just that easy, so for those women out there that wanna kill there baby im just saying don't because they didn't ask to be on this world with you, you put them here…


if u afraid of losing ur pride..y not u go n abort ur fetus at 1st??y must u wait till she wus born? how cud u kill her after u seen her in diz world? i understand if u make mistakes dat u cannot undo..but..u no nid 2 be dat meany aite? go n hve the abortion, even it is illegal..still i can accept d reason y u do this.(dont get me wrong..i against abortion.)at least..they still in ur womb n unborn aite?

or..after u gve birth..then..u leave ur baby at mosque for example..or in front of somebody house..i still assumed dat..u might love ur child..but u dunno wut shud u do..even u r living in sins..but at least..u not kill em..u still gve her a chance to live..am I rite.?.

gurls..plz listen 2 me..n think ok..

First of all, if you’re not ready to have a baby. Why are you having sex? The best way to avoid a baby is incest. Don’t take an innocent life just because ur newborn baby might takes ur privilege of life.. Remember, next time you have sex think about how lucky you’re to be alive. U shud Thanks to your mom…


If after u having sex..u got pregnant..u shud be honest 2 ur parents..try ur best effort to tell them..but..if u afraid of ur future..u shud get rid ur fetus before it become a baby rather u throw her like a rubbish or kill her..

But..if u still keeping her in ur womb..then..just raise her up..or gve to someone else..there is many people outside there want babies..i want too!

so please take my advise and don't kill it...put it up for adoption if you don't want it after you had it and seen it.

Don't kill babies, they're a God's blessing.....killing is wrong...there is no such thing as a LEGAL ABORTION/KILLING in God's mind....

p/s: if you dont want a baby...DONT OPEN UR LEGS if you are a girl and if you are a guy KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS!!!


13 February 2010

is okey if u dont miss me anymore

I had missed u so badly today..I just want to sit in front of u and talk, talk and talk..
I hate myself on loving u but I used to love u lots.
even if u dont love me anymore.., but my praying are always there for you…
the thing I can definitely promise, I shall never be able to forget you………..

i just a stranger..i know

music and me

When I am bored I sing a song in my head...
Where am I goin'? I don't know
Where am I headin'? I ain't certain

All I know is I am on my way
I heard that on a commercial once and I always sing that when I don't know what I'm doing..

music oh music!
i definitely can say dat..Music plays a HUGE part in my life, Unfortunately, I can't play any instrument...hahaha
Even Music isn't the most important thing in my life, but it's up there. Music never helped me get through anything really, but I do enjoy it a lot. *especially when someone dat i love dedicated a song 2 me..i'll re-repeated it till im vomit..hehe umm..wuts next ya..ok2..I listen to mostly all types of music because I think it is important to have a variety of favorite genres..punk rock.country song..are my top priorities..*I was.. influenced by my siblings.. but i listen to some old school rock; indie, jazz..the slow, lovey dovey kind. So why is music important to me? I think it's because music has the power to influence my heart, mind, and soul in ways in which no other outside source can (except for God and His Word, Holy Quran). for me la..Music can be both exciting and sobering, scary and enlightening. Everywhere I go, I hear music; it plays whenever i go..
im not a rock star..ini lakonan semata2..

You can be sitting with a person who doesn't know your langauge, a person who hates your country, hates your religion, hates your political stand point, however once both of you hear this wonderful composition both of you will be compelled to talk about its wonderfulness...am i rite???

i've learning how 2 play guitar wif my own..my master ar internet n book..sometimez, i asked my bro 2 teach me..proudly says dat..i can play hey they delilah song olredy..haha

i sing..i cry..i laugh

12 February 2010

lesbian?im not!

when i said dat..i like diz gurl.doesnt mean dat im lesbian...Please don't misunderstand me.
.im not a lesbian..
I've never been attracted to girls!

when someone labeled me as a lesbian..I hated it and I felt disgusted every time I heard it.
bear in ur mind.. I've never been attracted to girls .
I love men and I had a boyfriend. I never feel anything toward girls. i cant imagine myself being with a woman.
I can't imagine being in a relationship with a woman and having sexual relations with a woman

But I always wonder what if I like them while I don't and I feel extreme discomfort around lesbian girls. Thoughts that if I like girls are killing me because I hate that n I became obsessed with this kind of thoughts.
*i admit dat..im so excited when i saw pretty girls..especially she is nice..softly spoken..coz its remaind me of my mom..but..dazziz..

i got a story to tell

i used to know a girl...
well..shes nice..shes pretty..shes cute..shes gurly..i olwez gve my compliment...i admit dat..i adored her..but..ironically..
she misunderstood me..she assumed dat..i like her..n wanna be her less partner.
OMG!i dont do diz..i dont do sex..plus wif gurl..no!

at first..i dunno dat shes lesbian..but..after she olwez sms me wif some disgustin word..
i figured out dat shes less..i'd tried for many times avoided her..but..failed..
d fact dat she olwez contact me..sms me..telling her prob..make me feel smpyty..*i hate diz feeling..
then..without i realized daat..
diz make our frienship bcome more complicated..when she expecting me 2 be her partner..
i told her for many times dat..i love her bcoz she is my fwen..not more than dat..
izziz okay wif me if she is less or straight..i do respect her way of life..*but i olwez gve some advised bout diz..
but..d most important things here is..im not less..

when she admit dat she wus in love wif me..n cried in front of me..i dunno wut i hve to do..she said.

“I don’t care that we don’t have sex. You can date a guy..u can meet ur bf..i wont get mad..i pomize..
. I know. I know. just don’t leave me…”

oh baby,..
plz..dont do diz 2 me..i cant b ur partner..i cant love u as a lover does..i cant..

I just don’t know what to do next… what am I supposed to do? I need serious answers.

p/s: when u asked me dat day..Please be honist with me.. Do you think im pretty?? ~yes you are :) you are like this non typical pretty, its like an individual pretty that doesn't come across everyday :) don't get me wrong im not lesbian :) just being honest...ok?

btway..Please don't tell me dat it's ok to be gay also because I HATE THAT.

10 February 2010

Oh bunga

setiap kali aku memandang bunga..bibirku pasti tersenyum..setiap kali ku memetik dan mencium harumannya..aku seperti dilamun cinta..setiapkali bunga berada didakapan tanganku..menghiasi rambutku..aku merasakan...akulah bunga itu....aku merasa sangat cantik dan menawan persis sang puteri dari kayangan..*owned by me..

*i feel great..
since i wus a pretty kid..im so obsessed wif flowers..when i wus small..i m so excited when i see flowers..especially roses..damm..i love dat flowers so bad.n i do think dat..all gurls luv flowers..i bet for dat.
..*my mom olwez scolded me as i olwez plucked dat roses...then..im cried after dat roses dies..hehehe..bcoz of dat..i hated them...flowers make me cried all time when i saw its die within 3days..

When I was in my teens , I'd have agreed that flowers are lame, a waste of money and die in three days. Now that im gettin more matured..being a women, I've developed a much broader appreciation for nature, I have to say that flowers are a true luxury. When I have them in my house or see them in a garden I cannot keep my eyes off of them! And of course, I love the smell. Flowers may not last but they feed the soul when they're alive.am i rite?? bcuz of dat..im so pantang if i saw these beautiful flowers..for sure i wanna smell it..hold it..pluck it..it is so sweet..OMG!i luv them crazily

Personally, I love flowers, they're gorgeous and they make me happy..*i can help myself from smiling when i saw these beautiful flowers..